The day that it finally happened was one of those things you wait for all your life. For most people it is a day to rejoice, whereas for others it marks the beginning of the final chapter of life. I was a member of the former and not the latter group that marked this day with gratitude and great elation. After working for over 40 plus years of my adult life it was now my turn to leave the work force and enjoy a well earned vacation and retirement.
The funny thing about retirement is that everyone asks you the same question. “So, what are you going to do now that you are retired?”. For me that thought never entered my mind. There was always so much more that I wanted to do and experience. I had always had a life outside of work and refused to be labelled by what I did for a living. I think what they were really asking is “what are they going to do in retirement?”.
I could not wait for this new chapter of my life to begin and celebrate this life changing event with my family and friends. I wanted to write new songs and new stories, run a marathon, travel to new places , continue in my charity work and challenge myself with any new experience that may arise. If you asked me at that time if I ever would start taking Yoga classes I probably would have laughed out loud and told you never in a million years. My two daughters however, had other plans for me. They both had decided on what they thought would be my perfect retirement gift .
They had noticed that over the last few years that even though I was still fairly fit, I was getting a little out of shape. Every time I would pick up one of my grandsons I would scrunch up my face and let out a “grunt”. That was when they decided exactly what I needed to prepare me for my retirement.
It was the night of my retirement party and most of my friends brought me a bottle of wine or scotch to assist with the celebration. I finally got to open my daughters gift. As I unwrapped it I had no idea what it was . There was a rubber mat of sorts , a couple of hard spongy blocks, and a cloth belt along with a letter explaining that I had a membership at my son in laws gym to begin to take “yoga “ classes.
Of course I thanked them very much and threw their gifts into a big pile figuring I could just ignore it and this too, would be forgotten. Boy, was I wrong. A couple of days later my oldest daughter called and invited me to my first Yoga class at the gym. She said that she would accompany me and show me the ropes. This was probably the only way for her to get me to go because she knew I could never say “No” to one of my girls.
I begrudgingly decided that I would give it a try. We reached the gym and my daughter showed me around and took me into the big exercise room for my first session of Yoga. I spread out my mat and proceeded to sit cross legged because that’s what everyone else was doing. I figured I would just sit in the back and everyone would ignore me and I could put in my hour , tell my daughter this wasn’t for me and everyone would be happy. That’s when the young, lean and very pretty instructor noticed me. I knew I was in trouble when she introduced herself and started asking me questions about any physical limitations that I may have.
My brain was screaming “Run for your life” but I couldn’t get off my ass fast enough.
She started the class off easy and before you know it I was doing the downward dog, the puppy, the cat, the butterfly, the fish and could soon feel all my hamstrings, pectorals, gluts, quads and shoulders being pulled and stretched. I didn’t know if I needed a masseuse or a veterinarian when the class was all over. I even thanked her at the end of class, probably because the torture was finally over.
The funny part about all this torture was how good I was actually feeling. I was a little sore but it was a good sore. It was like one of my good memories of completing a duathalon or a half marathon where you push yourself beyond your limits in search of a personal best. I had finished second in my age group in the last 2 duathalons that I had entered. Now that I was retired one of my goals was to be first. I decided that perhaps there was something to this Yoga thing and it could only help me in my goal to be first in my age group.
I continued to take the Yoga classes and always felt so invigorated when I finished. I felt much healthier and began to appreciate the benefits of deep breathing and clearing the mind of all it’s chatter. I began
training for my duathalon a little more intensely and that was when I first noticed the pain. One day as I was riding my bicycle I felt a numbness and aching running up and down my left arm. I slowed down on the bike and started to coast and the pain eased up. The next day my wife and I went for a walk to see the sunset. We noticed that the sun was setting quickly, so we picked up our pace to get to the rivers edge before it sank into the water. As we were hurrying along the same pain returned from the previous day and I found it difficult to catch my breath.
I assured my wife that I was fine and we returned home without incident.
Now just recently a good friend of ours had passed away suddenly from a heart attack with supposedly no warning. He was actually a year younger than me and the picture of perfect health . My wife convinced me that perhaps I should go and get checked out and deep down inside I knew that I should. I did not want to end up like our good friend.
The doctor scheduled me for a stress test and after only 5 minutes they stopped the test. There were some abnormalities and I was beginning to experience pain in my left arm again. In my mind I was thinking this couldn’t be happening to me. I’m in good shape; I’m a runner; I’m not overweight; “Hell” I’m even a vegetarian. They must be wrong. Well, after a few more tests and an angiogram it was discovered that I had a 100% blockage in one of the main arteries of my heart . The doctor informed me that he could not insert a stent because it may cause a stroke. The good news was that my heart had developed it’s own collaterals and performed it’s own bypass. The recommended course of action was to try medication and let’s see how it goes. This was not what I wanted to hear.
To say I was a little depressed was pretty obvious. There was definitely some misguided anger that I had to apologize for on a couple of occasions. To say I was a little bit scared was stating the obvious. I was afraid to do anything physical . I was told no cutting the grass, no snow shovelling, take breaks, don’t over exert myself. Although I tried not to show it to anyone, I was afraid to do too much of anything. This was something that would not go away. It was always gnawing at the back of my brain, waking me up at night and playing games in my head.
One of the only things that was keeping me sane was the “Yoga”. I knew that every time I went for a class I always felt better, both physically and mentally. Normally each class would start with breathing exercises and retentions. I would consciously direct each breath to my left chest area into my heart. It was almost as if I could feel healing going on, healing of both my heart and my mind. I found I could do all the movements to a great extent with little difficulty. My confidence in what I could do physically was returning and in turn my mental state was following suit. Whenever I got a twinge in my chest and could feel anxiety building , I would begin to practice my breathing techniques that were taught in class. Gradually, the pressure would ease up and a calmness return to my body and mind.
It’s now been a little over a year since I began taking the medication for my heart and am feeling as normal as can be. I have returned to all my charity activities, walk almost daily, baby sit my grandsons, play golf,
bicycling, hiking, camping and last and certainly not least, regularly attending my yoga class. I am doing everything I was doing prior to my diagnosis except for running and that has nothing to do with my heart. It seems I do not have any more cartilage left in my knees to absorb the pounding or I might still give it a try.
I know the medication that I am taking has probably saved me from suffering a more serious fate but there is more to it than that. Although I know I am still a “Yoga Novice” and probably never be able to touch my toes without bending my knees, Yoga has helped to give me back my life and I will be eternally grateful for all who have been and will continue to be on this yoga journey with me.
Thanks to all of you.
Sincerely,
Dave Leslie
(Yoga Novice)
